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Wilted and faded somewhere in Brooklyn.

419 Following   729 Followers   23,870 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/23/09

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Adorable predators vs. their prey #adorablecircleoflife http://t.co/q5uzgtwWTl"When everything is a computer, nothing is a computer." Whoa 😳 https://t.co/ei3lQZutL2@styx1234x 😎 https://t.co/FhANB7wPtnT.J. Miller Shows the Best Way to Wing Acceptance Speeches http://t.co/Fmtmka4YT9 @nottjmillerIt's gloomy and it's Monday. Sounds like a perfect recipe for #EMOnday to me.
6/1
2015
Just put on an entirely white oitfit, and less than 15 minutes later dribbled coffee all over it. πŸ˜’Racing through the @metmuseum last night to sneak in one rooftop drink before closing @ The… https://t.co/9cezH0goQL@gayannsmith there you go https://t.co/jmrdVYyEyJ@noahsolo The belly rules the mind. https://t.co/iQNz51zxIX@hilarycakes is it too late?? Cheese!πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ https://t.co/MQXpjO44R7
5/31
2015
Hello to All That: Why I'm Staying in New York Until I Die http://t.co/m5v5CPW1Bq
5/30
2015
You guys are the worst.I need someone on finance Twitter to help me objectively consolidate previous retirement funds into a Roth IRA. Any takers?
5/29
2015
@montoyan I mean... it was very likely. Not all of them gave me their business cards.Nothing is sweeter and lasts longer than a battery on a brand new phone.@ComfortablySmug Where are you? Come join us.I'm swimming in a sea of pastel-clad bankers.@Jessica_Effect I hear a rooftop bar calling our names... from the rooftop. 😏 https://t.co/pzWrxxKfDhI really ❀ this piece because it's so true | Kim Kardashian West Is the Outsider Artist America Deserves http://t.co/eyFetgo384There's an exclusive, snobby group at the dog park in the mornings and they won't ever talk to me or Abner. I must sabotage them.
5/28
2015
@dasan You can thank the homeless and dogs for the evaporated urine particals in the air.'Tis the season for subway platforms to smell of toilets.@ComfortablySmug http://t.co/Nt99ao4Tnk
5/27
2015
@ashleyaliese πŸ‘΄@MsBelleBath @EaterNY Truuuue
5/26
2015
Why is Brooklyn barbecue taking over the world? http://t.co/DxfVhRJWuo http://t.co/Xw8CW8kREL
Retweeted by Katie
5/25
2015
Abner is such a chick magnet. 😏I'm at Mister Sunday in Brooklyn, NY https://t.co/tnVrMdQZN3@ComfortablySmug @naufalsanaullah @nyc_elle_p I've purposefully rubbed my eyes in men's shirts when they've wronged me.Basquiat and Kehinde Wiley (at @BrooklynMuseum in Brooklyn, NY) https://t.co/J6ONhwM3ASLike @KimKardashian's book, only birds. http://t.co/dsf6Hyp91pWow - traditionally catholic Ireland becomes first democracy to legalize gay marriage nationally by popular vote http://t.co/eFhfE6lGW3
Retweeted by Katie
5/24
2015
@ashleyaliese Heartbreaking indeed, @JohnStamos. https://t.co/dOU9B5bIOo@ara1c @tjmpb A very fancy bidet?In reference to a Leonardo DiCaprio movie, my mom responds with, "They say Leo has a #dadbod."@MotionToStrike I thought this asked, "Would you do them?"@MotionToStrike πŸ™‹@mrbrond @munchies Alligators are basically dinosaurs, and alligators taste like chicken.@mrbrond @munchies No! But close. The article was quite interesting!Beautiful comic on rediscovering love after heartbreak http://t.co/ZE988Ozuss http://t.co/ZySdX5gydk
Retweeted by KatieThis Is What Dinosaur Meat Tasted Like πŸ˜‹ http://t.co/pSrzpaFfe3 via @munchies@Jessica_Effect Yay!! I knew you had to have it! πŸ’‹
5/23
2015
@Nebrewska Your child-bearing trolling no longer phases me, Travis! *throws nightstand, smashes mirror*When you don't have children but you have a dog, and your mother comes to visit... http://t.co/aA7mqqXvio
5/22
2015
@Nebrewska @ABC this melts my heart. πŸ’–@jp730 Congrats! Keep me posted on any good spots.@jp730 I'll be starting a new job in midtown next week! Need to know lunch spots that won't induce an afternoon coma and weight gain...@ComfortablySmug hi https://t.co/2VNig8ibdb@Jessica_Effect My "girl?" Pfft. We're not even sure if that IS a girl!
5/21
2015
Your Favorite Characters as Cats http://t.co/7C6fXDp8k9 http://t.co/vpUCVkBn6H
Retweeted by Katie@montoyan I appreciate your acknowledgement of our hardships, Nick. πŸ’Peekaboo bed baby http://t.co/Mdv1Sd6eHp@montoyan If you knew this guy, you would retract this statement.@Nebrewska I'll forego this moment and hide instead.😳 https://t.co/FwEQ020mly@A_MICHELLI I fell down a rabbit hole and found this gem https://t.co/Ksf1Ay6OSDTony Scott contrasting Billie and Ella's ability to evoke emotion in their songs https://t.co/2HPZiAq4VS http://t.co/apGKp5ISGp@lastbadasstion 59th St. 4/5-- kills me every time 😏@SarahNEmerson That physical hurts me to read. It "burns."When you spot your creepy neighbor coming your way & you dash inside your apt just in time to avoid his date propsal http://t.co/jYriHHQ6e3@dmarknewman Yes! We finished it off on our last night of the trip (unless your question was a euphemism for something else..)How could a little boy disrupt food markets? https://t.co/L7MLR8XQZnThe new Amy Winehouse documentary trailer shows why critics loved it at Cannes http://t.co/F5wmbKFX4Y via @BrowBeatA pair of bloody murders rocked Williamsburg and Bushwick on Monday and Tuesday http://t.co/DwpTJGu8Eq@ComfortablySmug That is what Abner looks like in the morning!@HTCUSA The new update changed everything and I've spent half my morning adjusting my app notifications, etc!!! This is horrendous!
5/20
2015
@MotionToStrike Well, you know what they say about a handshake? They're the gateway drug to a handy!@montoyan Ahh not as of now. I didn't know about it! Is that what you're training for now?@montoyan But I've made a recent switch to Adidas energy boosts and they're amazing! They look badass too! Win-win!@montoyan Nice! I've always preferred the aesthetic of Nikes but was frequently talked out of them at running stores.@montoyan Elaborate. I've made a similar transition and am very pleased.Fashion tip: Always double-knot the tie in your wrap dresses. 😳
5/19
2015
@SarahNEmerson Will you pick Abner up some kibble? A couple cans would be nice too. πŸ‘ŒThis girl's excitement over pancakes is very relatable https://t.co/3bvZzIVq3CErlich from @SiliconHBO is currently the best character on television.Logan from 'Gilmore Girls’ doesn’t think Rory should have married him, either: http://t.co/sYaHE9K7RY http://t.co/c9BiIbN7Vn
Retweeted by KatieWhen your dog tries to get turnt on a Sunday... https://t.co/9ui5kFvA4n@parva_x I'm going to DM. Please standby.@parva_x I have a W-4 form question!! Help, Parva!@MsBelleBath πŸ’‹ https://t.co/e9Yh01Dfhf
5/18
2015
@Nebrewska tmi
5/17
2015
@hgwnyc your bf passed me on ocean parkway during race! I'm know this thanks to your Twitter/IG. Tell him congrats and πŸ‘ to his #manbun!BREAKING: https://t.co/bpHZ3U5EP2I'm at Airbnb Brooklyn Half Marathon Starting Line in New York, NY https://t.co/BXBdjGCW5g
5/16
2015
My sister and I are seriously crying right now at airport bar after watching these videos.How I feel Abner and I will be tonight | 18 Tear-Jerking Moments Of Soldiers Reuniting With Their Dogs http://t.co/a0sPLpa7j8 via @buzzfeedFinishing the eurotrip with a glass of PG at FRA with @Jessica_Effect. ✈David Foster Wallace’s David Letterman Tribute http://t.co/l8mXNH10Eu via @vulture
5/15
2015
Words that don't exist in English, illustrated: http://t.co/vKkDRBAyqU http://t.co/l6GVwdOiz6
Retweeted by Katie@hassankhan @georgepearkes Β―\_(ツ)_/Β― https://t.co/Gs9wuvAiWP@hassankhan @georgepearkes Soooooo culty, I love it.@noahsolo That's 10 months away tho.. πŸ˜’There's a duty free bottle of MoΓ«t burning a hole in my suitcase...
5/14
2015
@darth @gayannsmith @KrisJenner @Jessica_Effect You could be our Ryan Seacrest!@gayannsmith Will you be our momager like @KrisJenner? @Jessica_EffectJust two hound dogs waiting on their klobÑsa. @ Prague, Czech Rebuplic https://t.co/urE1sByZHR@DoubleDeuce Sorry. I don't appreciate nor care to idolize John Lennon.Amy Winehouse playing at this Prague wine bar feels more than perfect. ❀Ready to go to Cuba? It has gotten even easier http://t.co/yqKazpbypb http://t.co/Ec5DmTuTqy
Retweeted by Katie
5/13
2015
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