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Comedian, talk show host and ice road trucker. My tweets are real, and they’re spectacular.

39,176 Following   36,206,181 Followers   9,733 Tweets

Join Twitter 8/14/08

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I got calls from Conan’s audience saying he had “no gifts” and they felt “sad and unloved,” so I set things right. http://t.co/NoKdYZRUsnElton John is marrying his longtime partner David Furnish! I'm so happy for them. So far they haven't registered at Kohls. I'll keep checkinHere’s a video #TBT of when I had Ellie Kemper work as a mall gift wrapper. They still have her photo up in security. http://t.co/YxwGKZtyQSMy friend, the star of “Mom” and Ninja Warrior champion @AllisonBJanney is here today. There's nothing she can't do.You could win every single prize from Day 11 of 12 Days right here! And it’s a lot better than pipers piping. http://t.co/9j0J66oyyvBig news. If you love Heads Up!, I think you're gonna love my new game, Heads Up! Pictures! It's in the @AppStore! http://t.co/vmNxk665z0Happy #ThrowbackThursday #TBT http://t.co/Pwt3ieHLvL
12/18
2014
I’m in a slot machine! Not actually. Though I did get my hand stuck once. I have 2 new games! Find the nearest 1 here http://t.co/7x0rQWQSrI.@Target and I partnered to ask people to make a video of surprising someone with a gift. This one is so sweet. http://t.co/kuXvRLM2SQJacqui took her loss and turned it into something to help others. I can’t imagine anything more beautiful. http://t.co/yBJz1jbvwlHappy #YoureWelcomeWednesday http://t.co/2SOHU9BFAzI love what your son said about my show, @TheDailyShow. I think your show is great. I mean, I see what he’s saying, but still – great stuff.Someone reading this tweet is going to win all of today's prizes from 12 Days. Gosh, I hope it's you. http://t.co/Ojf1DYCz8hHappy birthday @Pontifex! Thanks for guiding people towards acceptance & love. I hope you have a wonderful day with a wonderful birthday hat
12/17
2014
That was absolutely amazing. @BrunoMars, you are incredible. #TheVoiceThe more you play the more we give @StJude Play #BullseyesPlayground: http://t.co/2L8dQ2vI2G unlock more fun in store http://t.co/DR06zdvi5i
Retweeted by Ellen DeGeneresThese twins met Santa for the first time. You can really see their resemblance. http://t.co/rO8JvyURNOI’m giving away all the prizes from Day 9 to someone reading this tweet right now. Like you! http://t.co/ln9Z1Fd5jc http://t.co/AXcIrdOoXDIt's the first night of Hanukkah! I love any celebration that brings people together in kindness and joy. Also, I can't resist a good latke.
12/16
2014
One photo, two icons, four buns of steel. Don't miss tomorrow! http://t.co/bJogwG3FTLNothing like a tiny snowman to melt your heart. http://t.co/oAKrYNoD7DJeannie's at the Westfield UTC mall in San Diego right now to surprise some shoppers. Get over there and be surprised.For anyone struggling to stay positive, I hope you'll watch. Julie is an inspiration. So is her hero, Chase Utley. http://t.co/DEEgc94yuiHappy holidays from me and my cousins to you and yours. http://t.co/nFfPFesdTHIt’s the 8th day of the 12 Days of Giveaways! Check out the amazing prizes, and enter to win. http://t.co/nRCzlzcW0g http://t.co/oR8nPCZ5d9.@KourtneyKardash had a kid! Kongratulations!.@NickiMinaj wore a sensible outfit on my show. And it’s a good thing, 'cause I just about scared the pants off her. http://t.co/f0jfoygcd5
12/15
2014
I love when two become onesies. @KevinHart4real http://t.co/JbzEmCpzEKHappy birthday to my favorite pizza delivery guy, Edgar! I hope you get great gifts, and that they get there in 30 minutes or less.Happy birthday, @TaylorSwift13! You keep cruuuuisin’, can’t stop won’t stop moooovin’.
12/13
2014
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing. It was on the house. #ClassicJokeFridayThis year, my 12 Days of Giveaways is brought to you by Visa Checkout! @Visa is a great partner. I’m glad they got their check out.Which reindeer is the best at football? Blitzen. #ClassicJokeFridayWatch my backstage selfie cam in the Ellen app today and see if you can catch Kutcher! @APlusK http://t.co/BjxiyERqjmEvery day, a Twitter follower is gonna win the gifts on my show. You’re gonna love what my audience won today! http://t.co/KZaaasgR32What's Santa's favorite metal band? Sleigher #ClassicJokeFriday
12/12
2014
I love this video that was sent into ellentube. They both got iPads. One missed the memo. http://t.co/YNvr4S25WNI’ve said it before and I will say it again - Slovakia has the best frozen lakes. http://t.co/iB9f5G9XimThank you to everyone who showed up at #UNT for our live shot with @JCPenney. You were amazing! #LaughDancePartner http://t.co/AIUJ3PdjODYou’re welcome any time. Until then, I’ll see you at the strip club. RT @KevinHart4Real: I had such a good time on Ellen. She is amazing!Happy #ThrowbackThursday http://t.co/7ORykxCwyzThese two are on my show today for a rematch. You can see the competitive fire in their eyes @KevinHart4Real @JoshGad http://t.co/ruJraEX2PZIt’s Day 6 and you could win all of the prizes! So long as this person doesn’t get in your way http://t.co/wo2f7aCRvu http://t.co/tgM5qdcsTfJennifer Aniston is nominated for a Golden Globe for her performance in “Cake”! I told you it was great. I can’t wait for the sequel - “Pie”This year there are more ways to win prizes from the 12 Days of Giveaways than ever! I hope you’re trying them all. http://t.co/VKhaiHeQXd
12/11
2014
I love surprising people with gifts. If you surprise someone with a gift, send me the video on http://t.co/GJsSaxDA7h http://t.co/hXedGjykwrThe crowd at #UNT is unbelievable. We're about to start the show! This is gonna be so much fun.Happy #YoureWelcomeWednesday http://t.co/Vl7tJCnnnUIt’s on, #UNT! Get to the Hurley Admin Building right now. I’m watching you live from Burbank!It’s Day 5 of 12 Days. We’re almost halfway through. Have you won yet? http://t.co/7DZDSqzmB2 http://t.co/cXFUiYhpbAHey #UNT, my viewers are my greatest gift, so come wrapped as a present. If you're present looking like a present, you might win a present.Okay #UNT — get to the clock tower on campus by 4pm today and you could be on my show!Orlando Bloom showed off a lot of bad behavior in this round of Heads Up! Not that I’m complaining. http://t.co/PEZ0qz79MDGood morning, Kevin. See you later today. RT @KevinHart4real: Good morning world.....If you're near the University of North Texas, you're gonna have the chance to be on my show today, right there in Denton. Seriously.
12/10
2014
Post a pic of your pet & tag it #HaloFeedItForward. @Halopets will feed a shelter pet. Here’s mine. http://t.co/hjeI0a2uPMGuess who won great prizes on Day 4 of 12 Days? My audience, that’s who. And so could you! http://t.co/UDRSkZ3Dmb http://t.co/E3XUxfZM1wHey University of North Texas - my show's coming to Denton tomorrow. That’s right. Denton. You don’t want to miss this.He might need a few more years before he’s ready to guide the sleigh. http://t.co/uY09Aoj9RF
12/9
2014
Ho Ho Ho. No. No. No. http://t.co/K4IxftLkNtAmy Poehler’s book is in my @Entitlebooks Book Bar! Sign up & give the gift of reading more than 140 characters. http://t.co/ElyuWfhFgnIt's the last day you can bid on my @Dev_Still71 Bengals jersey signed by more stars than you can throw a football at http://t.co/YS8tWqnAtrOn the 3rd day of 12 Days, my favorite talk show host gave to me — Lots of big prizes, like a TCL Roku TV. http://t.co/cUybcHuG4lHappy birthday @NickiMinaj! I hope you take this day for yourself & let nothing stop you. No ifs, ands, or well you see where this is going.Howdy, Tweeters. Wednesday, something’s going down in Dallas. I hope y’all are gonna be free to be there! More news coming soon.
12/8
2014
At @Oprah's gospel brunch to celebrate her amazing film "Selma" http://t.co/iXE8TuEbfU
12/7
2014
Happy birthday, @TONYOK! You’re always OK in my book. That’s how I wrote your name in my Rolodex.
12/6
2014
Happy #ClassicJokeFriday http://t.co/FgGGMrH8K1What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson. #ClassicJokeFridayI’m excited to be partnering with @EntitleBooks! I love what they do to help people read good. #LaughDancePartner http://t.co/tqBuL9YSblIt’s Day 2 of 12 Days! There are some great prizes on my show today - Check them all out and then enter to win! http://t.co/nYEiGYSS8tCongrats to my friends who got nominated for a Grammy! I love you equally. Except anyone who mentions me in their speech. You’re my favoriteWhat do elves drive? Toy Yodas. #ClassicJokeFriday
12/5
2014
Happy #ThrowbackThursday! http://t.co/Vl7YCAY0mtIf you're people & you like choosing, I've got great news - It's the last day to vote for the People's Choice Awards! http://t.co/5eIc7GtvMSJulie Patel is inspiring. She wanted school supplies for her students. Thanks to my partner @WellsFargo, she got them http://t.co/5U4SpLfObI#PeterPanLive is tonight at 8 on NBC. I'M FLYING! Sorry, I mixed my 5-hour Energy with my afternoon martini..@SteveCarell told me about his movie “Foxcatcher.” You’re not going to believe how good this performance is. http://t.co/nommhLhuUCIt’s the first day of the 12 Days of Giveaways! http://t.co/lqTWeoNy4J One of you is winning all of today's prizes! http://t.co/KZnpm9UWguStephen Hawking thinks artificial intelligence could be our downfall. I disagree, but I’m just the robot that tweets for Ellen DeGeneres.
12/4
2014
This year there are more ways than ever to win prizes from 12 Days. You can try them all. I’m rootin’ for ya! http://t.co/EA6Mzwh09zLookin’ good! #SelfieG RT @official_tWitch: The amount of smiles and joy she brings to the world is amazing. #ShakeyG http://t.co/4kSw8y49UMHappy #YoureWelcomeWednesday http://t.co/2jrFlmOV06Congratulations to @JimmyFallon & his wife Nancy! They had a baby girl named Frances! Unless this is an elaborate round of “Box of Lies.”Jennifer Aniston is brilliant in this movie. Check out the trailer or, as I’m calling it, a piece of cake. http://t.co/0zSRSFFYcqGrab your sisters and your hairspray and your matching sweaters. The 12 Days of Giveaways start tomorrow. http://t.co/fD3tqUA16sThe incredible @JackAntonoff did this amazing performance with his band @Bleachersmusic . Did you miss it? http://t.co/Pm8wALvAt0.@JaredLeto is gonna play the Joker in Suicide Squad! I hope this doesn’t mean he has to cut his hair..@EvaMendes told me about her new baby with @RyanGosling. Finally. http://t.co/Vr0OlfOAbM
12/3
2014
Dance dares are back, people. http://t.co/GJsSaxDA7h https://t.co/UMQWq7DefyIt’s December! Which means anyone who posts a video to http://t.co/GJsSaxDA7h will be automatically entered to win all 12 Days of Giveaways.If you haven’t seen the Kloons and their hilarious videos, you need to right now. http://t.co/r6RU8ULpBICelebrate #GivingTuesday by finding something you care about and giving back- whether it’s your time or your talent, you’ll be glad you did.Happy birthday, @BritneySpears! Oops, I did it again.Happy birthday, @BritneySpears!Happy Birthday to @Jes_Chastain’s mom! I wanna try your vegan food truck. Let me know if you ever swing by Burbank. http://t.co/MCN0RkkC6uMy rain dance worked! I’ve been hula hooping in a grass skirt on my lawn every night since March.
12/2
2014
The only thing better than @FooFighters performing “Everlong" http://t.co/c5nRUul3XG is winning tix to see them live. http://t.co/0sshNQqGOrI believe the children are our future. That's why I'm glad @iamWandaSykes was in this episode of Laugh Lessons. http://t.co/QWuSdYqpCxFor the 1st time on Apple, my app Heads Up! is FREE to help @RED fight AIDS. #AppsForRed #WorldAIDSdAY #EndAIDS http://t.co/mKEsdE5Wcf
12/1
2014
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